Hate is a complex thing: internal and external.
Some thoughts on Pulse Orlando.
I've finally gone back to school, this time with the intentions of actually learning this craft. I'm a Creative Writing major (::fanfare::), and now I'm doing just what I should have been doing all along: writing a lot and reading a lot. It isn't very difficult, but it is very time consuming. I've found I can't work forty hours a week, but I can work about thirty, which counts as full-time at my new place of employment; I get benefits, I'm treated well, I get a full meal (with unlimited refills of both my plate and my drink) for $1.00, and my school work is respected. I really couldn't be happier.
Things are finally looking up, so I think I'll start posting again. I get interesting assignments in my classes, and it's really pushing me as a writer. For a grade, I'm forced to explore genres and techniques I never would have otherwise, and I'm already noticing a difference in just these few short weeks in the beginning of the semester. Unfortunately, working, class and homework take up most of my time, so I can't really work on my own pieces. I do, however, typically really enjoy my assignments, and don't mind writing them. Some of them I'm actually proud of.
So I'll start posting again, and I'll include the prompts for my creative pieces, so you know what I was trying to achieve. :)
It'll be interesting, I think, if nothing else.
I'd been suffering from writer's block for a while. In fact, I had to put all of my writing completely on hold for the last year so I could focus on finishing up my Psychology degree (working full-time and going to school without any sort of financial aid is a lot harder than it sounds!). I spent my time doing as much reading and researching as my busy schedule would allow. Between work, class, and my community service organization, I'm surprised I found time to sleep (if you could call about 4 hours a night sleep). During that time, however, I stumbled upon an exercise that some other folks in some of the video game and comic fandoms I follow had begun using: the Alphabet Exercise. Basically, choose a character, then for each letter of the alphabet, write a story about him/her, to explore his/her character more. Because I wanted to use this as a means of working on my novel as a whole, I decided to use the exercise to explore the entire cast, using each letter to focus on an individual character.
You'll find these scattered about this blog, I'm sure. I haven't gotten too far into it, but I have a few short stories, a few "fanfictions" or alternate universe pieces for my novel, and a few random scenes or drabbles that I intend to post. So if you see anything pertaining to a single letter, you'll know it's a piece of this exercise.
Hope you enjoy!
Kismet: a word derived from Turkish and Hindi-Urdu, meaning Fate or Destiny, a predetermined course of events. The word evolved from Persian qesmat, from Arabic qisma, meaning "lot", from qasama, "to divide, allot". Kismet is also used in Bulgarian,Macedonian, and in some dialects of Serbo-Croatian as luck. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kismet) ^------ This is the working title of my novel.
When I was younger, I couldn't keep my imagination from running wild. It seemed like I always had a new idea, or a new character that I wanted to explore or develop (it used to completely pull my attention from school; instead of notes from lecture, they would be notes on a new story!). I eventually wound up with three fantastic plots that I would have loved to see to completion. Unfortunately, it was clear that I would never be able to make any of them publishable if I continued trying to work on all three at the same time (not enough hours in the day and all that). I ultimately settled on what would eventually become known as Kismet.
It, admittedly, began as a silly little role play between a friend of mine and I about eight years ago. Back then, I was in a bad place (emotionally, mentally), and I couldn't bring myself to write on my own. I used role playing with a good friend of mine as a creative outlet and as an escape from all the tough stuff I was facing at the time. The general "skeleton" of the story was something of my own making, with bits and pieces taken and inspired by various books, comics and cartoons I was watching, while the "meat" of it was the original work my friend and I did together.
Going back and reading the original logs really makes it clear how far the story has evolved over the years. It's grown with me and my understanding of people and the world, and is a bit of a window into my own past, I suppose.
I've shared it with only a handful of people, as I'm 1) incredibly self-conscious about my writing. The story might be fantastic and creative, compelling and intriguing, but the writing? That may or may not suck. 2) I'm absolutely terrified that someone might steal the story, the characters, the places, etc. This is something I've been pouring my heart and soul in to for eight years. If someone were to take it from me, what could essentially be considered my life's work--I'd be so devastated...I don't even know what I'd do.
That being said, making this blog and wanting to share my work is a huge step for me. I want to get better, and my dream is to become a published author. (If I really want to express that deep dark fairy-tale wish, it would be to have a book just as popular and influential as Harry Potter, complete with shirts and movies and at theme park. While my story is hardly aimed towards children, it's that magnitude of fame and recognition that I'd really like to achieve.) The only way to get better is to share my work with others and learn from whatever mistakes I've made, and truly listen to any advice that's offered.
So that's what I'm here to do.
I'd like to think of myself as an up-and-coming writer. Whether this is true or not, I suppose, is up for interpretation. All I can really tell you is that I love to write, and have been doing so for quite a while. A little more about me:
- I'm a romantic idealist posing as a rationalist.
- I've been poisoned by fairy-tales. |
- I believe in second chances.
- I believe people can change.
- I love to learn, so I'm alright with being wrong.
- Basically, I'm a child at heart.
I'm going to post a bit of my writing. Some of it will be original, and if I get up the nerve, I may dabble in some fanfiction (is this a good thing or a bad thing?). I may also post some of my musings. Sometimes, I am inspired by a line or two from a song, so there may be some work from such sources.
So that's me in a nutshell. :)
P.S.- I'm very fond of feedback. If you feel I made a mistake or could have done something better, please let me know how I can improve!